by YouTime Coaching | Apr 18, 2012 | Action, Attitudes, Beliefs, Change, Failure, Motivation, Potential, Purpose, Results, Self-Esteem, Success
Are you programmed for success or failure?
Lets get started:
Phase 1:
What are beliefs?
How do we create our belief system?
Lets begin with a simple definition of the word belief. For the purpose of how we will use the word, the definition of belief is,
a FEELING of ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that something is TRUE.
I hope I made it clear enough that there are three major factors in defining a belief.
1. It is a feeling
2. You are absolutely certain of this feeling
3. This feeling is true.
If you were to tell me that you believe you could of run in the Boston Marathon this past Monday, than you are saying, “I AM ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I COULD RUN IN THE MARATHON”.
I would say, good luck against those Kenyans.
Now, what do beliefs have to do with success or failure?
Phase 2:
Take out a pen, pencil, or marker and draw this diagram.
Case 1: Potential & Results
Lets start in the top right hand corner.
Do human beings have a lot of potential?
YES!! Humans are capable of incredible things.
Do human beings live up to their potential, giving us equally as incredible results?
NO! Don’t get me wrong humans do amazing things, but, as a whole, humans are capable of doing a lot more for themselves, others, and the environment that they live in.
…So based off of the diagram above, what is the culprit for having
HIGH POTENTIAL, but LITTLE RESULTS?
You got it! There is not enough ACTION.
Case 2: Action & Results
So we need some more action to achieve great results, right?
Not necessarily.
Imagine I ask you to go around your neighborhood to 100 homes, knock on their doors, and try to sell them a new diet pill by saying,
“Hey Buddy, buy this pill from me”.
I BELIEVE, a vast majority would decline purchasing.
This proves that HIGH ACTION does not always yield HIGH RESULTS.
Case 3: Belief
Relationship Example:
Your friends tell you that they have someone that would be perfect for you. So you get set up on a date, but with a group of people (feels a little more safe). When you look at the man or woman that you are supposed to be set up with, you realize, holy shit they are gorgeous.
Suddenly…The feeling in the pit of your stomach. It is telling you, “I am not as good looking as them, they probably won’t go for me. A guy/girl like that only go for good-looking people, I’ve got no chance.”
With this BELIEF (revisit the definition up top), are you going to be at a “high potential” to get the guy/girl you are suppose to be set-up with?
No.
With this belief in addition to low potential, do you believe you are going to pursue this as much as possible?
No.
Why would you pursue something you know will not work and is a waste of time.
DEFEATING BELIEF + LITTLE POTENTIAL
+ LITTLE ACTION = ?????????
LITTLE and DISAPPOINTING RESULTS!
Phase 3:
Take the mindset of someone that is rich, poor, happy, or sad and you can easily see why this cycle can serve as being a breading ground for success or failure.
This is why the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, the happy get happier, and the sad get sadder!
It all comes down to our beliefs. What we feel is absolutely true.
Am I confident?
Am I good enough?
Am I smart enough?
Am I good looking enough?
Changing your attitude and belief about these concepts, will drastically change our cycle and results!
Make this your focus.
Revisit your beliefs today and see what you can change.
by YouTime Coaching | Feb 29, 2012 | Anxiety, Climbing, Confidence, Fear, Mountain |
What you see here is not exactly what you get.
YES, I am on a Mountain.
YES, I am almost 1000 feet above the ground.
YES, there is no railing next to me.
NO, I am not calm.
What my lovely girlfriend has captured in this picture is everything but the anxiety and just plain fear I felt at that very moment.
I don’t know if you caught the last sentence on this side, but I believe they made reference to people dying. Now honestly, the anxiety started creeping in right about there.
Some of you may have had similar experiences, while others find this type of activity as nothing but a walk in the park.
I am here to tell you 3 reasons to climb a Mountain.
1. The Pendulum Effect
Ever hear of the theory that if you haven’t experienced true sorrow, you can’t really experience true happiness? Kind of the same principle here. It is not until you experience a true fear or anxiety to genuinely appreciate the opposite swing of the pendulum, courage and certainty.
What you end up witnessing is that the event that caused you fear, actually took courage to be a part of and eventually confront.
And trust me, you will very much appreciate and recognize what tasks take true courage and bravery from there on out.
2. Breaking Down the Wall
When a runner claims they “hit a wall”, they are (hopefully) just expressing a metaphor for how tired they are.
In the picture at the top of the blog I was about 75% percent up the face of the Mountain. When the anxiety and fear kicked in, I had a few choices.
A) Stand there until the anxiety and fear went away.
Realistically, it wouldn’t have simply disappeared, at
least in no short period of time. So option A is out of
the question!
B) Jump
I love my life, didn’t have a parachute, and probably
would have increased my anxiety by simply thinking
about this. So option B is out!
C) Turn Around and Go Back Down
Next to that warning sign at the beginning of the
Mountain was another sign that said you are at an
extremely high risk of injury if you attempt to retreat
down the trail. This sign plus the fact that I was 75%
complete = option C not being an option!
D) Continue Forward
At this moment on the Mountain I was confronted with
a simple decision mixed a ton of complex thoughts. I
was forced to break down the “wall” in front of me
and tackle my anxiety.
I made it, I survived, and I would it all over!
3. Breeding Ground
After I completed my decent and got back on level ground, a deep breath was to be had.
After that deep breath I acknowledge an extremely important thing,
I WAS PROUD OF MYSELF!
Even with all the fear, anxiety, and stress (physical and mental) of climbing that Mountain, in the end, I was proud of myself and that is a breeding ground for confidence.
by YouTime Coaching | Feb 22, 2012 | Uncategorized |
What would you consider a normal birthday celebration?
Wake up in the morning, check Facebook to see the 200 “Happy Birthday” wall posts (half of the posts come from people you haven’t spoke to in at least 5 years). You follow checking Facebook up with going to work, school, or maybe like a lot of people neither because the economy sucks and you are stuck at home. Once the afternoon rolls in you may check Facebook again, open your mail to see if your grandma sent you a crisp $20, possibly receive some presents from family and friends, go out for a birthday dinner, grab a birthday cocktail, and finally wrap things up with some cancer.
Wait…what?
You heard me, cancer.
Take a second, close your eyes. I want you to envision the birthday celebration I carefully laid out for you in the above paragraph. Now try and predict how you would react if you opened the next birthday card after your sweet Grandma’s and it read,
“Happy Birthday, You have cancer.”
On April 20, 2009 Shaun turned 29. He also was diagnosed with cancer.
Shaun was told by his Doctor that he had Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL).
This is how it works:
CLL causes a slow increase in white blood cells called B lymphocytes, or B cells. The cancerous cells spread from the blood marrow to the blood, and can also affect the lymph nodes or other organs such as the liver and spleen.
CLL eventually causes the bone marrow to fail.
The cause of CLL is unknown.
There is no link to radiation, cancer-causing chemicals, or viruses.
This cancer mostly affects adults, around age 70. It is rarely seen under age 40. The disease is more common in Jewish people of Russian or East European descent
(U.S. National Library of Medicine).
YouTime: When you were officially told that you were diagnosed
with cancer, what went through your mind?
Shaun: I couldn’t stop thinking about chemotherapy, losing my
hair, and dying. It was hard, I didn’t know what to think. It
was scary.
Two months after being diagnosed with CLL Shaun received some news.
Drum roll please…
Shaun was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.
At the end of June 2009, Shaun got the big news that not only did he have cancer but he now has Type II Diabetes.
YouTime: This is some hard stuff to take in, how were
you feeling after hearing the news?
Shaun: This felt like two really big hits.
YouTime: It sounds unbelievably tough. What kind
of thoughts were you having about the quality
of life you may now have to live with?
Shaun: I honestly just kept thinking, “Shaun, you will be shooting insulin into your stomach for the rest of your life”.
STOP
Using the K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple Stupid) model from the previous blog (if you didn’t read it, DO IT!!)
I want to take a step backwards.
We do not need to discuss the complexities of what causes different types of cancers and type II diabetes. Although, if you wish to know the answer…I strongly encourage you to read “The China Study” or watch “Forks Over Knives“.
The problem is clear and the solution is clearer.
What we need to do now is ask a simple question…
Given the situation that Shaun is currently in,
HOW DOES HE MOVE ON FROM HERE?
Shaun decided to work with YouTime Coaching to take charge and control of the challenges he was presented with.
SHAUN’S REMARKABLE RESULTS BELOW:
If the results you see interest you and make you start wondering what you take control of in your life, contact me for a FREE Consultation!CLICK HERE TO CONTACT
by YouTime Coaching | Jan 13, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Take a second to ask yourself a few questions. Have you ever said the following statements?
“nothing is going right for me”
“why does this always happen to me”
“I can never do anything right”
“I never seem to get things right”
“this is way too hard”
If you are guilty of saying one of the above statements or “sort of” guilty, not only are you part of the vast majority of the country, but this blog may even help you!
So, KEEP READING!
At times, life chooses to mix you a fine cocktail containing,
1 ounce complication
2 ounces difficulty
1.5 ounces confusion
Each individual’s cocktail differs slightly in ingredients but all tend to have a commonality in the solution. During these moments in life mentioned above, we as complicated, complex, and intricate human beings forget our ability to SIMPLIFY.
I am not asking you to rid yourself of all material possessions, make your house out of mud and sticks, or wear clothes made out of recycled newspaper. Though, If you wish to do any or all of these things more power to you and I would love to hear how that is working out for you!
What I am actually asking you to do are two very easy and useful things.
1. Make Lists
2. Use Acronyms
1. Making Lists: Keeping lists are extremely useful for giving ourselves the credit that we deserve for the progress that we make. Most of the time the steps we make in the right direction are never acknowledged and easily forgotten.
“Giving credit where credit is due is a very rewarding habit to form. It’s rewards are inestimable.”
– Loretta Young
Lists are our memory. If it is not necessary to use the free parking spots up at our memory bank, than don’t! Writing it down will free up some of the obligation and worry to remember tasks, events, and people for extended periods of time.
TRY IT
Use your technology of choice, such as, an Ipad, Iphone, Droid, or if you are still living in the stone age, a pad of paper and set alarms to complete tasks or use the “to do list apps”.
*YouTime Coaching’s Recommended Pick*
For those of you who have the new Iphone or Ipad use the “Reminders” application that comes loaded on the device.
This application is perfect to use for 3 reasons.
1. Extremely easy and clear to navigate
2. Tracks how many tasks you have completed to date
3. Tracks what days you have completed the tasks
This lets you know what days you may be more productive!
Another exercise involving a list that can have a great impact on your daily life is call, “Eliminating Time Wasters“.
How this works:
Write down the things you have to do tomorrow in 3 columns.
Column 1 (high priority) – “Must Do”
Column 2 (mild priority) – “Should Do”
Column 3 (low priority) – “Could Do“
This simple activity brings everything back to childhood, WHEN IT WAS SIMPLE.
If you do your chores, then you can go out and play!
Try both these “List” activities in the next coming week and share with me on my Blog, Facebook, or Twitter how it worked out!
1. Acronyms: These are just another tiny tool that packs a powerful punch to help make things that are sometimes hard to understand or remember quite easy.
The first acronym I want you to put in your head is, K.I.S.S.
Answering questions such as, “Why do I keep going back to my old eating habits?”, “Why do I always end up alone?”, or “Why am I always tired?” can be managed far greater when you take the first step and remind yourself of, “K.I.S.S”.
If you take a step back from the situation, observe who the players are, and what the outcome of the situation actually means to you, you will have an easier and simpler way of understanding things.
Constantly repeat in your mind “K.I.S.S.” when you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Most likely you have not been obeying this rule if you are already stressed and anxious.
Acronyms and Setting Goals
Almost 50% of people make New Year’s Resolutions,
yet 90% fail to reach those goals!
An acronym that will make you one step closer to being a master goal setter and achieving success is, S.M.A.R.T.
I challenge you…
Create a goal, contact YouTime Coaching through email, Facebook, or Twitter and we will work through the S.M.A.R.T. method of goal setting to get your on the path to fulfilling your first goal of the New Year!
Check out this link for useful information on the S.M.A.R.T. method:
SMART Goal Setting
by YouTime Coaching | Jul 15, 2011 | Uncategorized |
Following an amazing weekend in Toronto being part of the “Psyching Team” at the 2011 Toronto Marathon, I witnessed something that bears more truth than we believe it to…
No performance goes unjudged.
Elite marathon runners and the most average Joe or Joanne actually have something in common, they are being judged and/or judging.
Raise your hand if you have been judged by another individual or judged yourself. Go on, don’t be shy, nobody is looking. If you didn’t raise your hand, your nose is probably growing and Pinocchio is somewhere laughing. Today social comparison and competition is almost as prominent as Justin Bieber on a teenager’s wall. You can go out and buy the most fashionable clothes and somebody is there to judge. You by accidentally trip and somebody is there, like magic, to judge you. You got lucky last night with the guy/girl of your dreams and thought there was chemistry, but she doesn’t call the next day, guess what, you begin judging yourself. Since these two societal factors are inevitably going to be part of our lives for quite sometime the real question is…
What can you do to help create your best performance in life?
The following are encounters, mental skills interventions, and stories that were witnessed first hand at the 2011 Toronto Marathon as being part of the official “Psyching Team”.
I. The All or Nothing Veteran
Tracy, 58 years of age, has been a competitive runner most of her life. She has completed over 30 marathons, 10 triathlons, 3 Iron-man Competitions, and hundreds of road races, but still faces the fear and anxiety of failure before each race…
Tracy truly believed she would finish the Toronto marathon in under 3.5 hours (borderline unrealistic time) and will soon feel utterly defeated when she does not reach her goal.
My encounter with her…
Standing at the race finish, 26.2 miles from the starting point, I witnessed an individual look as if they were entering the beginning stages of rigamortis. I put a blanket around her and assisted in getting Tracy some water and a banana. I sat down next to Tracy and said, “How did the race go?”. She replied, “not so good, I finished 5 minutes slower than I should have.”
Five minutes!? A marathon takes hours, and this veteran runner is getting upset over five minutes! Now of coarse I did not say any of that to her, but I offered her something she could use for future races. I told Tracy that when she establishes her goal for a finish time she should create 3 tiers.
I. Finish times that are excellent
II. Finish times that I consider good/strong
III. Finished times I could live with
Tracy, although drained emotionally and physically, said she believes she needs to start using that mentality.
How can you apply this to your everyday life?
If you are searching for a job, create 3 tiers…
I. Jobs I really want and could make into a career
II. Jobs that could be interesting/fun
III. Jobs that could work for the time being
If you are having issues with spending too much money, create 3 tiers…
I. Things I really need right now
II. Things I would like to have
III. Things I want to buy if I have money left over
Doing the 3 tier system will help you to be more specific in what you are targeting to do or accomplish. It will also help you complete your goals without the feeling of “all or nothing thinking” while releasing all of the unnecessary pressure.
II. Mrs. One Kilometer
While standing at the one kilometer mark, with a mere 41.2 km to go, a middle aged seemingly experience runner staggers directly to me crying her eyes out. She goes on to explain that last year she tore a small part of her calf at the one kilometer mark in the Toronto Marathon and was unable to finish. She claimed to feel the same type of pain and said, “Why does this always happen to me”.
Can you predict the ending?
After borrowing my phone to call her husband in tears, she quickly recouped and went on to finish the marathon.
How does this apply to you?
Every decision we make in our lives is effected by the past events we have been through, both painful and pleasurable.
A situation occurs (you want a raise at work)
|
You begin to go through thoughts and beliefs of the situation, mostly influenced by past events
(my boss has a short fuse and gets mad easy)
|
A particular behavior is exhibited (I guess I shouldn’t ask for a raise)
Your thoughts and beliefs directly effect how you may behave in any given situation based off of whether you have a pleasant or unpleasant regard for that event.
When confronted with a situation that you have trouble with follow these three steps.
1) Stop: Take a second to step back and increase awareness of your thoughts and any affiliated beliefs that may influence your decision/behavior.
2) Explore: Brainstorm how your decision/behavior may change if your thoughts and beliefs were different about the event.
(my boss gets mad easy vs. my boss is a nice guy and will understand)
3) Take the hard path: This may not sound fun, but if you continue the patterns you have been living and not seeing the outcomes you expect, BREAK THE PATTERN!
In a sea of people you believe you will go unnoticed, but on the contrary, people see you. They see your strengths and weakness.
If you wish to find out the top 5 ways to live a healthy, positive, and confident lifestyle email me @ [email protected]
If you ever wish to run a marathon, start a new sport, begin exercising, or simply live a more active lifestyle contact YouTime Coaching to give you the positive mental edge you deserve.
Check out the Psyching Team!
Caution
