by YouTime Coaching | Mar 2, 2017 | Academics, Advice, Beliefs, Benefit, college, Decisions, high school, Preparation, steps, Success
A gap year is a year that students take between high school and college, usually doing some sort of structured, non-academic activity.
Sounds nuts. Why would anyone do this?
The reasons are many, but here are a few of the more common ones:
- A student is academically burnt out and needs a break from academics to recharge
- A student doesn’t yet have the maturity to succeed in college (did you know that the male brain and executive functioning capacity doesn’t fully mature until the late 20’s?!)
- A student has a passion that they want to pursue prior to college
- A student’s not that into the idea of college, (or parents aren’t that into the idea of dropping $200K on a “meh, I guess I’ll go” response)
- A student wants to gain more experience to then be able to make the best of college
- A student feels like they need another go at the college admissions process
Thinking the gap year might be right for your student? Here are some pros and cons to consider.
GAP YEAR: Pros
- According to an Australian study published in August in the Journal of Educational Psychology, taking a gap year is linked to higher motivation in college.
- Taking a structured Gap Year invariably serves to develop the individual into a more focused student with a better sense of purpose and engagement in the world.
- According to American Gap Association statistics, taking a gap year helped focus student academic and career paths: 84% say it helped them acquire skills to be successful in future careers, and 73% say the experience increased their college readiness.
GAP YEAR: Cons
- Some students may view the gap year as a vacation. Without a clear plan, the gap year can pass by without doing much positive good for your student. If your student isn’t willing to put in the work to plan a productive gap year, then they shouldn’t take one.
- Financial concerns can impact a student’s gap year. Not every parent can support their children completely during the gap year. Your student may need to work, or they may be able to secure a scholarship or grant from a gap year program or college.
Common Concerns
Even after discussing the pros and cons of a gap year, I typically hear three major concerns from parents:
- “Next year, my student will be ‘too old’ for college.” College isn’t high school: a college classroom often includes both lower- and upperclassmen, sometimes with graduate students or non-traditional students mixed in. Age is rarely an issue, especially a single year.
- “How do I know my student will go back to school?” This is one of my favorite excuses, because the best counter-argument is simply to wait until they work a full-time job. After 40-hour work weeks, most teenagers will beg to go back to school! In fact, according to a study, 90% of students who took a gap year ended up going back to school within a year. If you’re still concerned that your student may “drop out”, it may be wise to gain admission to a college that will allow a deferral enrollment for the following year.
- “Why should my student wait if s/he is ready now?” Adapting to a new set of academic and social responsibilities is not easy for everyone; the first semester of college is often a difficult transition. It can be fun and fulfilling to tackle these responsibilities on your own schedule, without the added burden of a strict class schedule, the stress of dorm living, or tuition. Your student may be ready intellectually now, but a gap year will likely leave them extremely prepared, not just ready.
If your student is considering a gap year, I always stress a well-rounded and structured approach, with an emphasis on personal growth. For example:
Summer: Apply for summer employment and begin planning for your upcoming fall.
September–January: You may want to participate in academic, social, and career enrichment opportunities specifically designed for gap years; some great places to find these opportunities are:
February–June:
- Apply for a job with the skills you learned from the fall, intern at a potential future workplace, or take a course at your local community college.
- You can also travel, especially if you needed the fall to help you save up for your trip.
July–September: Continue any of the opportunities you’ve started over the past year. Don’t forget to take time to relax and connect with friends!
The above plan is designed to help your student begin college after a gap year with a set of advantages: a rested mind, additional education (potentially in both the academic and career arenas), increased confidence from spending time in “the real world,” and an extra year of overall maturity. Too often, we allow personal growth to happen while we’re busy with other things. But especially during key transition times, the self should be the priority. Imagine how much more a student with a clear sense of passion and purpose can get out of the college experience!
Remember: college is ultimately about your student becoming their own person. Deferring enrollment until after a gap year can be a very rewarding stage on this personal journey, but only if it’s the right fit for your student!

Jay Bacrania CEO & Co-Founder of Signet Education
This blog was written by Signet Education’s CEO & Co-Founder, Jay Bacrania with assistance from Signet tutor, Matt Grzecki. Jay has worked extensively with both special needs and high achieving students. He has taken a broad academic path that spans the sciences and humanities. Jay holds an BA in Comparative Study of Religion from Harvard University and attended Berklee College of Music for two years for Jazz Trumpet Performance. Beyond tutoring, Jay is interested in managing and refining Signet Education. You can almost always bet on finding him there at all hours, teaching or finding ways to make Signet even better!
Signet Education provides exceptional individualized tutoring, test prep, admissions consulting, and organizational coaching for students.
by YouTime Coaching | Feb 7, 2014 | Abuse, Benefit, Fear, Healthy, Positive, Reaction, steps, Tolerate
On Pinterest you can find nearly anything. From wedding ideas, workout routines, recipes, cute animal pictures, to quotes. If I had a specialty on Pinterest it would be finding unique, meaningful, and stimulating quotes to sit down and really think about (maybe even do something about). I know half of the population on social media believes, they are the quote gurus! I say, there can be many gurus.
I came across a quote a while back,
After reading this I thought for a moment about myself and some of the things that I allow to “slide by” throughout my day and week. What really grabbed me though, as seen through the work I do with clients, is that people tolerate very toxic things in their lives.
“Examine what you tolerate”. In other words, take a deeper look at what things you allow to exist, occur, and be done within your own life that you have convinced yourself are for your best interest. i
Individuals choose to tolerate a wide range of things in their lives that are believed to be for your benefit but are actually toxic to your life.
Major “tolerated” toxic events;
- Having friends that put you down
- Being lied to frequently
- Being in a relationship that is abusive (verbal, physical, sexually, and neglectful)
- Negative treatment because “you are not good enough”
- Bullying because “you deserve it”
- Consistently giving up on going to the gym or your diet because it “won’t make a difference”
- Bad habits (tolerated by the individual with the habit and others in their environment)
People tolerate all types of things as result of low self-worth and image, fear of others reactions, fear of “not being good enough”, fear of “the unknown and uncertainty”, the perceived consequences of not tolerating the event, and conditioning to tolerate these events from prior relationships.
This month set-up an appointment with yourself for a real gut check. Ask yourself what types of things do you tolerate that may be limiting you and why do you tolerate them?
We all have our faults, imperfections, bad habits, and things to work on. Let’s start by being your own detective and asking these four questions.
- What are the incredibly obvious things I tolerate in my life right now?
- What are the tougher, more painful, and complicated pieces that you tolerate in your life? (true gut check)
- What is the cost of continuing to tolerate these things?
- What is the benefit of taking steps to stop tolerating these events?
When working on some of the events I have mentioned above you want to be under the supervision of a trained Mental Health Professional. If you feel as though this is the time make some of those changes use the link below.
by YouTime Coaching | Aug 13, 2013 | Beliefs, Change, Insight, Insight Fallacy, Motivation, Problems, Stages of Change, steps, Understanding
Have you ever explained something to a friend or family member and their response is, “I know, I know, I know”? They seem to fully grasp the idea, concept, or reason for something that is happening around them all too well.
Have you ever seen that same friend or family member that “understood” what and why something was happening, never change anything about it? Well, there’s a name for that.
In the field of Psychology it is referred to as the “Insight Fallacy”.
Insight Fallacy: The belief that understanding a problem will solve the problem.
When gaining insight into a problem it may help us by,
- Providing comfort, security, and safety in understanding what is wrong.
- Assisting in the development of new problem-solving strategies.
- Giving meaningful new understanding which will create harmony between our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
However nice this may sound, insight alone will not change the problem. In order to take effective steps in changing the problem, you must first identify a few things by answering these questions.
- Is there a problem at all? If so, what is it?
- Have a tried changing this problem in the past 6 months?
- Do I plan on doing something about this within the next 30 days?
If you have not identified a problem, you are most likely not going to do anything about it, besides saying “I know, I know, I know”. If you said “YES” to there being a problem, you must start thinking about how you are going to try and change it. Take a look at the “Stages of Change” and get a feel for where you may be.
For each stage there are different tasks to complete, so make sure you are honest in which one you may be in. Being in the wrong stage at the wrong time will lead to frustration, relapse, and a decline in confidence.
Take it one stage at a time, be patient with yourself, and know that there will be bumps in the journey.
You got this.
by YouTime Coaching | Jan 16, 2013 | Action, Anxiety, Arguments, Attitudes, Certainty, Confidence, Direction, Fear, Fighting, steps, Success
Chapter 2: The Fight
Recap from Chapter 1: “Intro to Fighting” & “The Approach”
1. Arguing only has the POTENTIAL to cause negative outcomes
2. The Approach is the most important aspect of the argument.
3. The Approach directly influences the outcome of the argument.
4. The mental and physiological state you are in prior to the argument will direct the fight.
5. If you are in a state that will undermine your desired outcome of the argument you need a “jarring”.
6. Try the “Opponent Appreciation” and “Movie Theater Effect” techniques to create a more resourceful state and get the result you desire.
Chapter 2: The Fight

Arguing can be an extremely toxic event for any relationship or create an important opportunity for growth. The difference between heading down these two opposing pathways is monumental to relationships. The difference in these two paths can be found in just a handful of decisions.
This blog is to help you navigate how to experience growth, increase closeness, heightened intimacy, and developing feelings of accomplishment through an argument.
Challenge: Your Relationship to Fighting
Take a second to right down some words that you associate with arguing. These words may be negative, positive, seem unrelated, or from direct experience. You may see fighting as a defense mechanism, a way for you to connect with others, or possibly a tactic that makes you feel important and noticed.
The importance of this exercise is to discover what cognitive relationships you associate to arguments and fighting. Once you recognize if your connection is positive or negative you can begin to witness its effects on “The Approach” and now how to change these limiting beliefs for “The Fight”
Definition
Limiting Belief: (noun) Thoughts and Beliefs that are manifested consciously or subconsciously that serve as obstacles and barriers to a desired or healthy behavior/decision.
“The Fight” is the ACTION stage within this whole process and where most people use their own style to out-perform their opponent and reign victorious.
The problem is developed because these “styles” that people use in their arguments are developed from typically subconscious feelings and can easily be expressed irrationally, untimely, and at your partners expense.
Our goal here is to develop arguing skills that will allow us to experience healthy growth, connection, certainty, and significance.
“Top 5 Rules to Successful Arguing”
1.Stay on Task
One of the biggest mistakes individuals make in arguing is that they do not stay on task. Understand what you are arguing about and keep this in mind with each point you bring up. When you feel like you are drifting away from the main topic, take second to regroup and jump back in. The last thing you want to be doing is yelling about who left the lights on, when the actual argument is about calling to say you will be home late.
2. Use “I” Statements
Let’s face it, humans typically get defensive very quickly and on a large scale. No female wants to feel like a piece of property, while no man wants to feel completely bossed around. When addressing personal preferences and perspectives start your statement with, “I feel as though vs. You always” in order to convey (on a conscious and subconscious level) that you understand this may not be the case BUT this is how it makes you feel.
3. Cool-off
Under no circumstance should anybody be yelling. If it has reached this point, neither of you are being heard, there will be no winner (your relationship will suffer), you are negatively affecting those around you, and the argument has reached the toxic zone. If you feel as though you are going to yell it is completely permissible to say “This is a very important conversation and do think it is necessary to talk about it, but I need to take a couple minutes to regroup”.
4. Be Quiet
Upwards of 90% of communication is non-verbal and if you don’t silence that yapper for a portion of the argument, you will miss all the important cues. Allow the other person to speak freely without interruption (this may be challenging, but that is normal). Listen to their points and much more importantly, how it makes them feel.
Isn’t it the most frustrating thing in the world when you begin fighting with somebody who “loves to argue”. Quickly identify if you are one of those people. Do you contest, argue, and disagree with a high percentage of things around you? If so, keep this close to mind when arguing, because you are at higher risk of not “staying on task”. If you are one of these people, you tend to see your way and throw up the blinders for any other perspectives. Be flexible, honest, and open during argument.
Stay tuned next week for Part III of,
“The Science of an Argument”
Chapters 3-4: “The Resolution” and “The Aftermath”
Best,
Jonathan B. Wolf, Ed.M.
YouTime Coaching
www.YouTimeCoach.com