by YouTime Coaching | Mar 2, 2017 | Academics, Advice, Beliefs, Benefit, college, Decisions, high school, Preparation, steps, Success
A gap year is a year that students take between high school and college, usually doing some sort of structured, non-academic activity.
Sounds nuts. Why would anyone do this?
The reasons are many, but here are a few of the more common ones:
- A student is academically burnt out and needs a break from academics to recharge
- A student doesn’t yet have the maturity to succeed in college (did you know that the male brain and executive functioning capacity doesn’t fully mature until the late 20’s?!)
- A student has a passion that they want to pursue prior to college
- A student’s not that into the idea of college, (or parents aren’t that into the idea of dropping $200K on a “meh, I guess I’ll go” response)
- A student wants to gain more experience to then be able to make the best of college
- A student feels like they need another go at the college admissions process
Thinking the gap year might be right for your student? Here are some pros and cons to consider.
GAP YEAR: Pros
- According to an Australian study published in August in the Journal of Educational Psychology, taking a gap year is linked to higher motivation in college.
- Taking a structured Gap Year invariably serves to develop the individual into a more focused student with a better sense of purpose and engagement in the world.
- According to American Gap Association statistics, taking a gap year helped focus student academic and career paths: 84% say it helped them acquire skills to be successful in future careers, and 73% say the experience increased their college readiness.
GAP YEAR: Cons
- Some students may view the gap year as a vacation. Without a clear plan, the gap year can pass by without doing much positive good for your student. If your student isn’t willing to put in the work to plan a productive gap year, then they shouldn’t take one.
- Financial concerns can impact a student’s gap year. Not every parent can support their children completely during the gap year. Your student may need to work, or they may be able to secure a scholarship or grant from a gap year program or college.
Common Concerns
Even after discussing the pros and cons of a gap year, I typically hear three major concerns from parents:
- “Next year, my student will be ‘too old’ for college.” College isn’t high school: a college classroom often includes both lower- and upperclassmen, sometimes with graduate students or non-traditional students mixed in. Age is rarely an issue, especially a single year.
- “How do I know my student will go back to school?” This is one of my favorite excuses, because the best counter-argument is simply to wait until they work a full-time job. After 40-hour work weeks, most teenagers will beg to go back to school! In fact, according to a study, 90% of students who took a gap year ended up going back to school within a year. If you’re still concerned that your student may “drop out”, it may be wise to gain admission to a college that will allow a deferral enrollment for the following year.
- “Why should my student wait if s/he is ready now?” Adapting to a new set of academic and social responsibilities is not easy for everyone; the first semester of college is often a difficult transition. It can be fun and fulfilling to tackle these responsibilities on your own schedule, without the added burden of a strict class schedule, the stress of dorm living, or tuition. Your student may be ready intellectually now, but a gap year will likely leave them extremely prepared, not just ready.
If your student is considering a gap year, I always stress a well-rounded and structured approach, with an emphasis on personal growth. For example:
Summer: Apply for summer employment and begin planning for your upcoming fall.
September–January: You may want to participate in academic, social, and career enrichment opportunities specifically designed for gap years; some great places to find these opportunities are:
February–June:
- Apply for a job with the skills you learned from the fall, intern at a potential future workplace, or take a course at your local community college.
- You can also travel, especially if you needed the fall to help you save up for your trip.
July–September: Continue any of the opportunities you’ve started over the past year. Don’t forget to take time to relax and connect with friends!
The above plan is designed to help your student begin college after a gap year with a set of advantages: a rested mind, additional education (potentially in both the academic and career arenas), increased confidence from spending time in “the real world,” and an extra year of overall maturity. Too often, we allow personal growth to happen while we’re busy with other things. But especially during key transition times, the self should be the priority. Imagine how much more a student with a clear sense of passion and purpose can get out of the college experience!
Remember: college is ultimately about your student becoming their own person. Deferring enrollment until after a gap year can be a very rewarding stage on this personal journey, but only if it’s the right fit for your student!

Jay Bacrania CEO & Co-Founder of Signet Education
This blog was written by Signet Education’s CEO & Co-Founder, Jay Bacrania with assistance from Signet tutor, Matt Grzecki. Jay has worked extensively with both special needs and high achieving students. He has taken a broad academic path that spans the sciences and humanities. Jay holds an BA in Comparative Study of Religion from Harvard University and attended Berklee College of Music for two years for Jazz Trumpet Performance. Beyond tutoring, Jay is interested in managing and refining Signet Education. You can almost always bet on finding him there at all hours, teaching or finding ways to make Signet even better!
Signet Education provides exceptional individualized tutoring, test prep, admissions consulting, and organizational coaching for students.
by YouTime Coaching | May 9, 2013 | Beliefs, Boston Marathon, Boston Strong, Confidence, Connections, Distress, Fear, Growth, Post Traumatic Growth, Post Traumatic Stress, Stress, Success, Support, The One Fund
In light of the recent bombings at the Boston Marathon and the massive numbers of individuals returning from war, our culture has become all too familiar with the term “post traumatic stress”. What most people are not as familiar with is the concept of
“Post Traumatic Growth”
Research involving individuals and their relationship to stress, pain, fear, and trauma have been around for thousands of years but the interest in Post Traumatic Growth began to steal some of the limelight in the 1990’s.
Post Traumatic Growth involves an individual’s path in adapting to sets of negative experiences that would normally cause psychological distress or harm. These events could include experiences with death, abuse, serious injury, natural disasters, relationships, accidents, and other potentially traumatic events.
Simply looking at this list you can understand why some individuals experience post traumatic stress.
BUT
What if there were a way to experience growth following traumatic events like those mentioned above?
Post Traumatic Growth Characteristics:
- Greater appreciation for life
- Shift in sense of priorities
- More genuine connections and relationships
- Increase sense of personal strength
- Recognition of new life paths and possibilities
Are you sold yet?
How can I get some Post Traumatic Growth?
1. First, you must have a belief system that supports growth.
Spirituality is a characteristic that has been closely linked to experiencing post traumatic growth, but the core concept behind this connection are the empowering beliefs a spiritual individual may possess.
Keep these in mind:
BELIEVE that you can grow from this
and
You are capable of this change.
2. You must have support
Support systems have been linked in post traumatic growth on many levels. Therapists, counselors, and life coaches (with proper training) can have great impacts on your ability to experience this growth, post traumatic event.
Surround yourself with genuine, insightful, and caring individuals that you feel comfortable sharing your life with. This could be the difference between growth and stress.
Conclusion:
- Be confident and open to being able to grow
- Develop a belief system that empowers and supports you in experiencing growth.
- Seek out opportunity to develop new genuine relationships and connections.
- Sniff out your most precious support systems and use them.
Lastly,
During the Boston Marathon I was watching the race in Kenmore Square (15 minute walk to the finish line), when I had heard what happened followed by a massive number of text messages, phone calls, and emails making sure I was okay. I want to thank those individuals and extend my heart and support to the families that were affected by these horrible events.
There is hope and there is strength within you to grow from this. Never loose sight of that.
All the best,
Jonathan B. Wolf, Ed.M.
Vitality, Performance, and Parent Coach
YouTime Coaching
Boston, MA
Contact:
[email protected]
(856)905-5410
If you would like to donate to The One Fund click the ribbon above:
by YouTime Coaching | Jan 16, 2013 | Action, Anxiety, Arguments, Attitudes, Certainty, Confidence, Direction, Fear, Fighting, steps, Success
Chapter 2: The Fight
Recap from Chapter 1: “Intro to Fighting” & “The Approach”
1. Arguing only has the POTENTIAL to cause negative outcomes
2. The Approach is the most important aspect of the argument.
3. The Approach directly influences the outcome of the argument.
4. The mental and physiological state you are in prior to the argument will direct the fight.
5. If you are in a state that will undermine your desired outcome of the argument you need a “jarring”.
6. Try the “Opponent Appreciation” and “Movie Theater Effect” techniques to create a more resourceful state and get the result you desire.
Chapter 2: The Fight

Arguing can be an extremely toxic event for any relationship or create an important opportunity for growth. The difference between heading down these two opposing pathways is monumental to relationships. The difference in these two paths can be found in just a handful of decisions.
This blog is to help you navigate how to experience growth, increase closeness, heightened intimacy, and developing feelings of accomplishment through an argument.
Challenge: Your Relationship to Fighting
Take a second to right down some words that you associate with arguing. These words may be negative, positive, seem unrelated, or from direct experience. You may see fighting as a defense mechanism, a way for you to connect with others, or possibly a tactic that makes you feel important and noticed.
The importance of this exercise is to discover what cognitive relationships you associate to arguments and fighting. Once you recognize if your connection is positive or negative you can begin to witness its effects on “The Approach” and now how to change these limiting beliefs for “The Fight”
Definition
Limiting Belief: (noun) Thoughts and Beliefs that are manifested consciously or subconsciously that serve as obstacles and barriers to a desired or healthy behavior/decision.
“The Fight” is the ACTION stage within this whole process and where most people use their own style to out-perform their opponent and reign victorious.
The problem is developed because these “styles” that people use in their arguments are developed from typically subconscious feelings and can easily be expressed irrationally, untimely, and at your partners expense.
Our goal here is to develop arguing skills that will allow us to experience healthy growth, connection, certainty, and significance.
“Top 5 Rules to Successful Arguing”
1.Stay on Task
One of the biggest mistakes individuals make in arguing is that they do not stay on task. Understand what you are arguing about and keep this in mind with each point you bring up. When you feel like you are drifting away from the main topic, take second to regroup and jump back in. The last thing you want to be doing is yelling about who left the lights on, when the actual argument is about calling to say you will be home late.
2. Use “I” Statements
Let’s face it, humans typically get defensive very quickly and on a large scale. No female wants to feel like a piece of property, while no man wants to feel completely bossed around. When addressing personal preferences and perspectives start your statement with, “I feel as though vs. You always” in order to convey (on a conscious and subconscious level) that you understand this may not be the case BUT this is how it makes you feel.
3. Cool-off
Under no circumstance should anybody be yelling. If it has reached this point, neither of you are being heard, there will be no winner (your relationship will suffer), you are negatively affecting those around you, and the argument has reached the toxic zone. If you feel as though you are going to yell it is completely permissible to say “This is a very important conversation and do think it is necessary to talk about it, but I need to take a couple minutes to regroup”.
4. Be Quiet
Upwards of 90% of communication is non-verbal and if you don’t silence that yapper for a portion of the argument, you will miss all the important cues. Allow the other person to speak freely without interruption (this may be challenging, but that is normal). Listen to their points and much more importantly, how it makes them feel.
Isn’t it the most frustrating thing in the world when you begin fighting with somebody who “loves to argue”. Quickly identify if you are one of those people. Do you contest, argue, and disagree with a high percentage of things around you? If so, keep this close to mind when arguing, because you are at higher risk of not “staying on task”. If you are one of these people, you tend to see your way and throw up the blinders for any other perspectives. Be flexible, honest, and open during argument.
Stay tuned next week for Part III of,
“The Science of an Argument”
Chapters 3-4: “The Resolution” and “The Aftermath”
Best,
Jonathan B. Wolf, Ed.M.
YouTime Coaching
www.YouTimeCoach.com
by YouTime Coaching | Apr 18, 2012 | Action, Attitudes, Beliefs, Change, Failure, Motivation, Potential, Purpose, Results, Self-Esteem, Success
Are you programmed for success or failure?
Lets get started:
Phase 1:
What are beliefs?
How do we create our belief system?
Lets begin with a simple definition of the word belief. For the purpose of how we will use the word, the definition of belief is,
a FEELING of ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that something is TRUE.
I hope I made it clear enough that there are three major factors in defining a belief.
1. It is a feeling
2. You are absolutely certain of this feeling
3. This feeling is true.
If you were to tell me that you believe you could of run in the Boston Marathon this past Monday, than you are saying, “I AM ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I COULD RUN IN THE MARATHON”.
I would say, good luck against those Kenyans.
Now, what do beliefs have to do with success or failure?
Phase 2:
Take out a pen, pencil, or marker and draw this diagram.
Case 1: Potential & Results
Lets start in the top right hand corner.
Do human beings have a lot of potential?
YES!! Humans are capable of incredible things.
Do human beings live up to their potential, giving us equally as incredible results?
NO! Don’t get me wrong humans do amazing things, but, as a whole, humans are capable of doing a lot more for themselves, others, and the environment that they live in.
…So based off of the diagram above, what is the culprit for having
HIGH POTENTIAL, but LITTLE RESULTS?
You got it! There is not enough ACTION.
Case 2: Action & Results
So we need some more action to achieve great results, right?
Not necessarily.
Imagine I ask you to go around your neighborhood to 100 homes, knock on their doors, and try to sell them a new diet pill by saying,
“Hey Buddy, buy this pill from me”.
I BELIEVE, a vast majority would decline purchasing.
This proves that HIGH ACTION does not always yield HIGH RESULTS.
Case 3: Belief
Relationship Example:
Your friends tell you that they have someone that would be perfect for you. So you get set up on a date, but with a group of people (feels a little more safe). When you look at the man or woman that you are supposed to be set up with, you realize, holy shit they are gorgeous.
Suddenly…The feeling in the pit of your stomach. It is telling you, “I am not as good looking as them, they probably won’t go for me. A guy/girl like that only go for good-looking people, I’ve got no chance.”
With this BELIEF (revisit the definition up top), are you going to be at a “high potential” to get the guy/girl you are suppose to be set-up with?
No.
With this belief in addition to low potential, do you believe you are going to pursue this as much as possible?
No.
Why would you pursue something you know will not work and is a waste of time.
DEFEATING BELIEF + LITTLE POTENTIAL
+ LITTLE ACTION = ?????????
LITTLE and DISAPPOINTING RESULTS!
Phase 3:
Take the mindset of someone that is rich, poor, happy, or sad and you can easily see why this cycle can serve as being a breading ground for success or failure.
This is why the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, the happy get happier, and the sad get sadder!
It all comes down to our beliefs. What we feel is absolutely true.
Am I confident?
Am I good enough?
Am I smart enough?
Am I good looking enough?
Changing your attitude and belief about these concepts, will drastically change our cycle and results!
Make this your focus.
Revisit your beliefs today and see what you can change.