by YouTime Coaching | Feb 22, 2012 | Uncategorized |
What would you consider a normal birthday celebration?
Wake up in the morning, check Facebook to see the 200 “Happy Birthday” wall posts (half of the posts come from people you haven’t spoke to in at least 5 years). You follow checking Facebook up with going to work, school, or maybe like a lot of people neither because the economy sucks and you are stuck at home. Once the afternoon rolls in you may check Facebook again, open your mail to see if your grandma sent you a crisp $20, possibly receive some presents from family and friends, go out for a birthday dinner, grab a birthday cocktail, and finally wrap things up with some cancer.
Wait…what?
You heard me, cancer.
Take a second, close your eyes. I want you to envision the birthday celebration I carefully laid out for you in the above paragraph. Now try and predict how you would react if you opened the next birthday card after your sweet Grandma’s and it read,
“Happy Birthday, You have cancer.”
On April 20, 2009 Shaun turned 29. He also was diagnosed with cancer.
Shaun was told by his Doctor that he had Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL).
This is how it works:
CLL causes a slow increase in white blood cells called B lymphocytes, or B cells. The cancerous cells spread from the blood marrow to the blood, and can also affect the lymph nodes or other organs such as the liver and spleen.
CLL eventually causes the bone marrow to fail.
The cause of CLL is unknown.
There is no link to radiation, cancer-causing chemicals, or viruses.
This cancer mostly affects adults, around age 70. It is rarely seen under age 40. The disease is more common in Jewish people of Russian or East European descent
(U.S. National Library of Medicine).
YouTime: When you were officially told that you were diagnosed
with cancer, what went through your mind?
Shaun: I couldn’t stop thinking about chemotherapy, losing my
hair, and dying. It was hard, I didn’t know what to think. It
was scary.
Two months after being diagnosed with CLL Shaun received some news.
Drum roll please…
Shaun was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.
At the end of June 2009, Shaun got the big news that not only did he have cancer but he now has Type II Diabetes.
YouTime: This is some hard stuff to take in, how were
you feeling after hearing the news?
Shaun: This felt like two really big hits.
YouTime: It sounds unbelievably tough. What kind
of thoughts were you having about the quality
of life you may now have to live with?
Shaun: I honestly just kept thinking, “Shaun, you will be shooting insulin into your stomach for the rest of your life”.
STOP
Using the K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple Stupid) model from the previous blog (if you didn’t read it, DO IT!!)
I want to take a step backwards.
We do not need to discuss the complexities of what causes different types of cancers and type II diabetes. Although, if you wish to know the answer…I strongly encourage you to read “The China Study” or watch “Forks Over Knives“.
The problem is clear and the solution is clearer.
What we need to do now is ask a simple question…
Given the situation that Shaun is currently in,
HOW DOES HE MOVE ON FROM HERE?
Shaun decided to work with YouTime Coaching to take charge and control of the challenges he was presented with.
SHAUN’S REMARKABLE RESULTS BELOW:
If the results you see interest you and make you start wondering what you take control of in your life, contact me for a FREE Consultation!CLICK HERE TO CONTACT
by YouTime Coaching | Jan 13, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Take a second to ask yourself a few questions. Have you ever said the following statements?
“nothing is going right for me”
“why does this always happen to me”
“I can never do anything right”
“I never seem to get things right”
“this is way too hard”
If you are guilty of saying one of the above statements or “sort of” guilty, not only are you part of the vast majority of the country, but this blog may even help you!
So, KEEP READING!
At times, life chooses to mix you a fine cocktail containing,
1 ounce complication
2 ounces difficulty
1.5 ounces confusion
Each individual’s cocktail differs slightly in ingredients but all tend to have a commonality in the solution. During these moments in life mentioned above, we as complicated, complex, and intricate human beings forget our ability to SIMPLIFY.
I am not asking you to rid yourself of all material possessions, make your house out of mud and sticks, or wear clothes made out of recycled newspaper. Though, If you wish to do any or all of these things more power to you and I would love to hear how that is working out for you!
What I am actually asking you to do are two very easy and useful things.
1. Make Lists
2. Use Acronyms
1. Making Lists: Keeping lists are extremely useful for giving ourselves the credit that we deserve for the progress that we make. Most of the time the steps we make in the right direction are never acknowledged and easily forgotten.
“Giving credit where credit is due is a very rewarding habit to form. It’s rewards are inestimable.”
– Loretta Young
Lists are our memory. If it is not necessary to use the free parking spots up at our memory bank, than don’t! Writing it down will free up some of the obligation and worry to remember tasks, events, and people for extended periods of time.
TRY IT
Use your technology of choice, such as, an Ipad, Iphone, Droid, or if you are still living in the stone age, a pad of paper and set alarms to complete tasks or use the “to do list apps”.
*YouTime Coaching’s Recommended Pick*
For those of you who have the new Iphone or Ipad use the “Reminders” application that comes loaded on the device.
This application is perfect to use for 3 reasons.
1. Extremely easy and clear to navigate
2. Tracks how many tasks you have completed to date
3. Tracks what days you have completed the tasks
This lets you know what days you may be more productive!
Another exercise involving a list that can have a great impact on your daily life is call, “Eliminating Time Wasters“.
How this works:
Write down the things you have to do tomorrow in 3 columns.
Column 1 (high priority) – “Must Do”
Column 2 (mild priority) – “Should Do”
Column 3 (low priority) – “Could Do“
This simple activity brings everything back to childhood, WHEN IT WAS SIMPLE.
If you do your chores, then you can go out and play!
Try both these “List” activities in the next coming week and share with me on my Blog, Facebook, or Twitter how it worked out!
1. Acronyms: These are just another tiny tool that packs a powerful punch to help make things that are sometimes hard to understand or remember quite easy.
The first acronym I want you to put in your head is, K.I.S.S.
Answering questions such as, “Why do I keep going back to my old eating habits?”, “Why do I always end up alone?”, or “Why am I always tired?” can be managed far greater when you take the first step and remind yourself of, “K.I.S.S”.
If you take a step back from the situation, observe who the players are, and what the outcome of the situation actually means to you, you will have an easier and simpler way of understanding things.
Constantly repeat in your mind “K.I.S.S.” when you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Most likely you have not been obeying this rule if you are already stressed and anxious.
Acronyms and Setting Goals
Almost 50% of people make New Year’s Resolutions,
yet 90% fail to reach those goals!
An acronym that will make you one step closer to being a master goal setter and achieving success is, S.M.A.R.T.
I challenge you…
Create a goal, contact YouTime Coaching through email, Facebook, or Twitter and we will work through the S.M.A.R.T. method of goal setting to get your on the path to fulfilling your first goal of the New Year!
Check out this link for useful information on the S.M.A.R.T. method:
SMART Goal Setting
by YouTime Coaching | Jul 15, 2011 | Uncategorized |
Following an amazing weekend in Toronto being part of the “Psyching Team” at the 2011 Toronto Marathon, I witnessed something that bears more truth than we believe it to…
No performance goes unjudged.
Elite marathon runners and the most average Joe or Joanne actually have something in common, they are being judged and/or judging.
Raise your hand if you have been judged by another individual or judged yourself. Go on, don’t be shy, nobody is looking. If you didn’t raise your hand, your nose is probably growing and Pinocchio is somewhere laughing. Today social comparison and competition is almost as prominent as Justin Bieber on a teenager’s wall. You can go out and buy the most fashionable clothes and somebody is there to judge. You by accidentally trip and somebody is there, like magic, to judge you. You got lucky last night with the guy/girl of your dreams and thought there was chemistry, but she doesn’t call the next day, guess what, you begin judging yourself. Since these two societal factors are inevitably going to be part of our lives for quite sometime the real question is…
What can you do to help create your best performance in life?
The following are encounters, mental skills interventions, and stories that were witnessed first hand at the 2011 Toronto Marathon as being part of the official “Psyching Team”.
I. The All or Nothing Veteran
Tracy, 58 years of age, has been a competitive runner most of her life. She has completed over 30 marathons, 10 triathlons, 3 Iron-man Competitions, and hundreds of road races, but still faces the fear and anxiety of failure before each race…
Tracy truly believed she would finish the Toronto marathon in under 3.5 hours (borderline unrealistic time) and will soon feel utterly defeated when she does not reach her goal.
My encounter with her…
Standing at the race finish, 26.2 miles from the starting point, I witnessed an individual look as if they were entering the beginning stages of rigamortis. I put a blanket around her and assisted in getting Tracy some water and a banana. I sat down next to Tracy and said, “How did the race go?”. She replied, “not so good, I finished 5 minutes slower than I should have.”
Five minutes!? A marathon takes hours, and this veteran runner is getting upset over five minutes! Now of coarse I did not say any of that to her, but I offered her something she could use for future races. I told Tracy that when she establishes her goal for a finish time she should create 3 tiers.
I. Finish times that are excellent
II. Finish times that I consider good/strong
III. Finished times I could live with
Tracy, although drained emotionally and physically, said she believes she needs to start using that mentality.
How can you apply this to your everyday life?
If you are searching for a job, create 3 tiers…
I. Jobs I really want and could make into a career
II. Jobs that could be interesting/fun
III. Jobs that could work for the time being
If you are having issues with spending too much money, create 3 tiers…
I. Things I really need right now
II. Things I would like to have
III. Things I want to buy if I have money left over
Doing the 3 tier system will help you to be more specific in what you are targeting to do or accomplish. It will also help you complete your goals without the feeling of “all or nothing thinking” while releasing all of the unnecessary pressure.
II. Mrs. One Kilometer
While standing at the one kilometer mark, with a mere 41.2 km to go, a middle aged seemingly experience runner staggers directly to me crying her eyes out. She goes on to explain that last year she tore a small part of her calf at the one kilometer mark in the Toronto Marathon and was unable to finish. She claimed to feel the same type of pain and said, “Why does this always happen to me”.
Can you predict the ending?
After borrowing my phone to call her husband in tears, she quickly recouped and went on to finish the marathon.
How does this apply to you?
Every decision we make in our lives is effected by the past events we have been through, both painful and pleasurable.
A situation occurs (you want a raise at work)
|
You begin to go through thoughts and beliefs of the situation, mostly influenced by past events
(my boss has a short fuse and gets mad easy)
|
A particular behavior is exhibited (I guess I shouldn’t ask for a raise)
Your thoughts and beliefs directly effect how you may behave in any given situation based off of whether you have a pleasant or unpleasant regard for that event.
When confronted with a situation that you have trouble with follow these three steps.
1) Stop: Take a second to step back and increase awareness of your thoughts and any affiliated beliefs that may influence your decision/behavior.
2) Explore: Brainstorm how your decision/behavior may change if your thoughts and beliefs were different about the event.
(my boss gets mad easy vs. my boss is a nice guy and will understand)
3) Take the hard path: This may not sound fun, but if you continue the patterns you have been living and not seeing the outcomes you expect, BREAK THE PATTERN!
In a sea of people you believe you will go unnoticed, but on the contrary, people see you. They see your strengths and weakness.
If you wish to find out the top 5 ways to live a healthy, positive, and confident lifestyle email me @ [email protected]
If you ever wish to run a marathon, start a new sport, begin exercising, or simply live a more active lifestyle contact YouTime Coaching to give you the positive mental edge you deserve.
Check out the Psyching Team!
by YouTime Coaching | Dec 30, 2010 | Uncategorized |
First, some things you should know…
I love dogs.
I love cats.
I have hugged a chicken and it returned the gesture.
I love cows, but I ate them.
I love pigs, but I ate them.
I love chickens, but I ate them.
How wonderful must it feel to know that whether you lost your job, girlfriend, or house in 2010, when the 1st of January approaches you have a chance to wipe the slate clean because, hey, it is a new year. Where the hell do you start? What aspect of your life needs improvement and why is this the only time we re-evaluate our current conditions?
Even in the New Year’s classic “Auld Lang Syne”, its lyrics pose a rhetorical question of whether or not old times should be forgotten. What many individuals perceive as a chance to redefine themselves as individuals is potentially setting themselves up for failure. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Redefining one “aspect” of yourself that will ultimately have the biggest residual impact on the rest of your life is what we are really looking to accomplish.
I am here as a guide to a better 2011 and LIFE.
I may not be able to promise you the happiness you regularly see in the Viagra or Celexa commercials, but I will sure as hell try.
(From an actual Celexa ad: Happy anti-depressant moment, YAY ridiculously fun teeth brushing)
148 days ago I started my New Year’s Resolution.
I have been vegetarian ever since.
I‘m not asking you to give up your Big Mac fetish, bacon egg & cheese on a croissant, meat eating ways… yet. What I AM asking you to do is read, take a look at, or even pick up what some say is the one of the most important and influential things this lifetime has seen. If you would like to know what this mysterious goldmine is all you need to do is pay 3 easy installments of $49.99 to the link below, and yes, I am completely kidding.
“Critical and life-saving”
“Ground-breaking”
“Monumental”
“This could save your life”
“Read this immediately”
If a Doctor ever used this type of language while in their office, would you listen to what they had to say?
These Doctor’s are speaking of the most comprehensive, influential, life-saving research ever conducting in regards to our diet and nutrition.
AS YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTION….
Take a look at “THE CHINA STUDY”
 |
| “THE BIBLE OF DIETS” |
This is not just a book. It is proof that even if you are unable to perform the most simple exercise, have a laundry list of potentially inherited chronic illnesses, or are simply a hypochondriac, a balanced plant-based diet can solve virtually all your problems.
If you are willing to try Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, The South Beach Diet, or Atkins Diet, take a real pledge that will finally work.
Pledge to be vegetarian for a week, a month, or however long you last and see your body and life completely change.
Links to check out:
If you are somebody who thought about making a New Year’s Resolution pertaining to your health, LOOK AT THESE SITES!
It could save your life…
by YouTime Coaching | Aug 19, 2010 | Uncategorized |
The type of person another individual tends to attract is a product of a few different factors. Primarily, how we perceive and value ourselves has a direct influence on how we choose our mates. If you have a low self-image, do you honestly believe you are going to end up with prince charming, or are you more likely to settle for something less appealing. Lets use these two examples:
Female “A” is a very upbeat, social butterfly who likes to go out on weekends rather than stay in and watch a movie or read a book. She tends to always be the girl, with the cowgirl hat on, sitting upon the bar serving shots of tequila out of her belly button. She occasionally brings home a guy from the bar rather than simply making out with them for the whole bar to see. At the beginning of the night she resembles a poster girl for beauty and pizazz, but by the end she is the train-wreck we are all staring at trying to stay on her own two feet.
Some questions to think about:
Does this girl look like she deserves to be treated with the utmost respect?
Does this girl look like she treats herself with the utmost respect?
Would you wish to get in a relationship with this type of girl?
Now onto the other girl…
Female “B” works as a nurse at a local hospital. She loves helping others out but still feels as though this is not enough and would like to volunteer at a nearby soup kitchen. Occasionally, she goes out after her shifts with some co-workers for a few drinks, but nothing too intoxicating. She favors the shy side when it comes to the opposite sex and does not usually accept drinks from random guys.
Now the questions…
Does this girl seem to respect herself?
Do you believe she deserves to be respected?
Is this a girl you would like to date?
Point being, the amount of respect you show yourself will correlate with the amount of respect a stranger, regardless of sex, will show to you. So do yourself a favor and begin respecting yourself. Highlight your strong qualities and flaws, and instead of trying to improve your flaws, attempt to enhance your positive qualities.
Once you begin to feel better about yourself, others will follow.
If you are one of those individuals who have trouble finding your strengths and seem to recall your downfalls or weaknesses better, contact YouTime Coaching to help create a plan to increase your confidence, self-image, and find activities that bring happiness in your life.
Watch this video that will motivate all of you!
This video features Nick Vujicic, an individual who without medical explanation entered the world with no arms or legs. He was born in Brisbane, Australia and made the challenging move to California and is now accomplishing so much. He is the President of an international non-profit organization known as “Life Without Limbs”.
Check his website out to find out more about his amazing story.
by YouTime Coaching | Jul 19, 2010 | Uncategorized |
When adverse or undesired events occur in your life, what is to blame? When you receive acclamation, approval, and praise, do you accept the responsibility for such reward? This phenomenon I refer to as “The Blame Game”, is nothing less than an individuals explanatory style. As it sounds, an explanatory style is the procedure an individual goes through to explain why good and bad things take place in their lives.
There are three components of an explanatory style and frequently an individual will identify in varying degrees the following:
1. Personal factor – the individual will usually see themselves as the cause of the event
“I always show up late to events” (internal) vs. “There sure was a lot of traffic tonight” (external)
This component involves how the individual explains where the cause of the event arises.
2. Permanence factor – the individual sees the situation as unchangeable
“I always attract jerks” or “things never go my way”
This involves how the individual explains the extent/magnitude of the cause.
3. Pervasive – the individual may see the situation affecting all aspects of their life
“I am always so lucky” or “I never do anything right”
YouTime Coaching focuses intensively on working towards developing a personalized, healthy, and positive explanatory style. In doing so, you will be capable of accepting the credit and appreciation you fully deserve, comprehend your potential for growth, and identify the areas of life in which you can control.
Each week the blog will feature excerpts of friend’s, family, and stranger’s lives. They are anonymously donated and will contain minimal identifiable information.The intention behind these real-life examples is to highlight that many people go through similar situations and that you are not alone in how you emotional react during these scenarios. As an audience, you will have the opportunity to give these individuals direct life advice. Following your advice, YouTime Coaching will provide Life and Wellness feedback to the situations and experiences.
You may recall a time when you lent a helping ear to a friend and decided to play therapist, while they incessantly spoke of their trouble finding a “nice guy”. Or possibly of the time when you heard a male friend scapegoat an argument due to it being “her time of the month again”. Although these are two specific situations, the explanatory styles of these individuals can monumentally affect other aspects of their lives.
I now present you Ashley, the 24 year old young professional who is employed by a globally renowned business corporation. She generates a very supportive income and possesses an assiduous work ethic.
YouTime: How would you currently rate your dating life?
Ashley: Non-existent. I don’t currently go on dates and haven’t even been in a serious relationship before.
YouTime: Have you ever been on a date?
Ashley: Yes. I have been on a few, but I would not really consider them dates because of how they went and who they were with.
YouTime: Why do you think you haven’t been on more dates?
Ashley: I would like to go on more dates if it was with the right type of guy but the opportunity hasn’t crossed my path. It would be nice if I could go out on dates and leave the bozos out of it.
YouTime: So Ashley, currently, what is your perspective on men, as far as dating goes?
Ashley: Well I know a lot of great men who just so happen to become great friends. As far as dating goes, I feel as though I have been used and tossed aside. I attract mainly jerks that are looking for one night stands.
YouTime: Speaking of attraction, what type of guys do you think you attract and why do you think you attract these men?
Ashley: Well they are really all over the charts. I have met a few through online dating sites and at bars. The guys that I meet at bars are usually preppy and drunk (laugh). I really don’t know much about them, besides that they are in their 20’s and usually just want to sleep with me. Regardless of where I meet men, they seem to want one night stands and that is not what I am looking for.
YouTime: So do you feel as though this is usually the case with you and men?
Ashley: This is definitely almost always the case. The majority of my experiences with men have been negative. I do not attract the right type of people.
YouTime: Do you do anything special in order to attract these “jerks”?
Ashley: I just act like myself and I guess I naturally attract them. I don’t know what I do wrong. I think the flirting is effected by the alcohol. I also feel as though these guys just smell my weakness and vulnerability. It is almost like I am targeted by them.
YouTime: Last question Ashley, do you feel as though the”weakness” that attracts these guys affects any other parts of your life?
Ashley: It definitely affects my confidence, or lack-there-of, which has an effect on my work day and how I feel about myself. I realize that I am way to hard on myself, but it is just how I have been my whole life since I was little.
Now…. It is your turn to help!
Where do you think Ashley fits along those 3 factors in an individuals “explanatory style”?
Now is your chance to give Ashley live advice and help improve her life by simply writing a reaction post below!
Within the next few days YouTime Coaching will give some Life and Wellness coaching advice to Ashley and those experiencing similar issues.
by YouTime Coaching | Jul 8, 2010 | Uncategorized |
30 seconds of paralysis is all it took. After sliding into third base during my senior year of varsity high school baseball, I lay on the field motionless, face down, and scared. Incapable of moving, my mind was flooded with thoughts of permanent paralysis and a lifetime without sports, or even being able to walk. Soon after, however, I slowly regained mobility in my fingers and toes, still waiting for an ambulance to come take me off the field in case of a spinal injury. I was subsequently diagnosed with a cervical sprain and a broken nose, as a result, unwittingly introduced to the field of Sport Psychology.
Pitching senior year varsity baseball after the injury
Rehabilitation was arduous both physically and psychologically. During this time, I became intimately familiar with the physical and psychological rigors of healing and the anticipatory anxiety of resuming an activity of which I had so much passion and love for. Triumphant over the complications associated with my own injury, I developed a general interest in how other athletes and individuals rebound from such tribulations and stressful life events. Specifically, however, the debilitating effect anxiety can have on an individuals existence.
As an outgrowth of passion for sports and psychology, I attended the University of Rhode Island the following fall and majored in Kinesiology and Psychology. While my body may have physically healed sufficiently to begin Division I athletics, I required additional treatment. At that time, I began seeing a therapist to help me develop the necessary skill set and knowledge base to manage my anxiety more effectively. The result of this integrative treatment plan propelled me into a successful academic career at the University of Rhode Island, while a compilation of injuries mired my athletic endeavors.
In May 2010 I graduated from Boston University’s Master’s program in Sport Psychology and Counseling, providing not only myself the integral mental skills needed for life, but the ability to pass them on to you.
My two sisters, Whitney (left) and Lindsay (right), smiling and happy at my graduation
While other individuals stories may not follow the same suit as mine did, there are incredible amounts of similarity. Amongst these include, how the manifestation of anxiety, worry, stress, and doubt can incredibly effect every aspect of an individual’s life, how to effectively manage complicated and transitional stages in your life (entering adulthood, new career, lost job, new relationship), being involuntarily sidelined from the things you love to do most, and above all, how the feeling of triumph and accomplishment can facilitate such a highly rewarding life.
This post is to inform all of you that no matter the circumstance, adversity, or stress of a situation (or simply life), there is ALWAYS something to learn and be triumphant over. Life is not black and white, but always shades of gray, and those transitional moments that seem impossible are where you reap the most benefits in life.
If you sometimes have trouble seeing where you can benefit in a situation that may seem insurmountable, I can be your eyes. Transition and adaptation is what life is all about, while developing the appropriate amount of confidence, focus, and intrinsic motivation, will assist you in such amazing ways that will allow you to succeed in ANY part of life.
