If you are a parent, grandparent, sibling, babysitter, nanny, or anyone that has been around a baby for more than a few seconds I am sure there have been a few moments when you said to yourself,
“Okay baby, I would of done the same thing.”
This brings up an interesting question of whether or not babies and adults make decisions the same way.
On many levels an adult’s ability to make rational, safe, healthy, and mindful decisions are far different than that of a baby, but what if the driving forces and motivations behind our decisions were the same?
My decision is…
I choose…
As humans, we ALL have needs and those needs must be met. When they are not met we tend to end up in the following situations:
unhealthy relationships
arguments
sacrificing happiness
meaningless employment
lack of fulfillment
decreased motivation
lack of confidence
The catch here is that adults have the ability to learn how to meet our needs in unhealthy ways, such as:
abusive relationships
one-sided friendships
drug/alcohol use (social use, abuse, and dependency)
pursuing very easy (non challenging) tasks
pursuing extremely hard tasks(near impossible based on our ability level)
maintaining a depressed state
maintaining an anxious state
*This list to simply a fraction of how we can meet needs in unhealthy ways.
You may be wondering what those needs are…
Without further adieu I present to you the “6 Human Needs” that drive our decision making process and motivate our behaviors (regardless of age).
Certainty:
Our need to be safe, secure, and comfortable. The need to know that will we experience pleasure and avoid pain.The feeling of knowing everything will be okay.
Variety:
The need for physical and mental stimulation. Our need to experience various emotions, physical sensations, and mental states.
Connection/Love:
The need to be love and connected with others. Our need to be part of something bigger (a group, family, club, friendship, religion, political party..etc). As human, we have a severe “fear of rejection” and ultimate fear of “not being worthy of love”, so we usually shy away from love and stick with the safe (and certain) connection with others.
Significance:
The need to feel noticed, important, unique, and worthy of attention.
Growth:
Our need to develop, grow, and expand through time.
Contribution:
The need to contribute outside and beyond ourselves as individuals.Many forms of contribution are volunteering, donating to charities, educating others, mentoring, and so on.
Individuals of all ages, make decisions and behave in particular ways based off of whether or not these needs are being met and to what degree they are satisfied.
“Real Life Practice” An assignment I usually give to my clients that I am passing on to you challenges them to look at this list and see which 2 needs drive and lead your life.
Doing this will allow you to understand why certain past decisions were made and how to be more mindful in the future.
Follow this, try to identify your significant other’s, spouse’s, or parent’s top 2 needs driving and leading their life. This will put you in a more tactful and understanding position when trying to understand where people close to you are coming from and how to interact with them.
Please share your thoughts and the progress you have been making on this blog below or on YouTime Coaching’s Facebook page! YouTime Coaching on Facebook
Raise your hand if you have seen these ads before.
David Beckham drinks milk and forgets to wipe off his upper lip.
Danica Patrick drinks milk and leaves it on her face.
Taylor Swift equally drinks milk and flaunts the residue.
Ok, put your hands down.
So if you have read the ads, like I did, what we can assume is:
David Beckham does NOT work out, he simply drinks milk.
NASCAR drivers work out (did you know this, because I didn’t.)
In the music industry apparently the most important decision to make is whether or not to drink milk, because this is how Taylor Swift got famous, skinny, and muscular all at the same time.
Does this make sense to you?
Milk has been for quite a long time our staple source of calcium.
The United States is habitually grazing the top of the list in milk production, consumption, and exporting.
If milk builds strong bones, than shouldn’t we have some of the strongest bones in the world? After all, we are at the top of the list in milk consumption.
This idea has made many scientists from some of the top universities (Harvard Medical, Cornell, Stanford, Yale, Tufts…etc) question milk as our source of calcium and decide to do some more research.
Their findings,
there is no significant research to prove that milk consumption strengthens bones and a growing body of research that shows milk does the opposite.
*These are not my opinions, nor the opinions of the Doctors that performed the studies. This is objective data.
If we drink the most milk, we should have the strongest bones (because that is what milk is supposed to do), but we have some of the weakest bones in world. There is a flaw in this logic.
When you walk into your local pharmacy go check out the supplement and vitamin sections. Count how many calcium supplements are there for you to purchase over the counter.
Pill Man
Why are there so many of these supplements here?
Do your own research, figure this one out, but in the meantime I have some vital advice.
Get your calcium from the food you eat.
This is a list of the some of the top calcium enriched foods to eat (that don’t cause osteoporosis):
So the next time you see a “Got Milk” advertisement channel your inner Anchor Man Ron Burgundy…
What would you consider a normal birthday celebration?
Wake up in the morning, check Facebook to see the 200 “Happy Birthday” wall posts (half of the posts come from people you haven’t spoke to in at least 5 years). You follow checking Facebook up with going to work, school, or maybe like a lot of people neither because the economy sucks and you are stuck at home. Once the afternoon rolls in you may check Facebook again, open your mail to see if your grandma sent you a crisp $20, possibly receive some presents from family and friends, go out for a birthday dinner, grab a birthday cocktail, and finally wrap things up with some cancer.
Wait…what?
You heard me, cancer.
Take a second, close your eyes. I want you to envision the birthday celebration I carefully laid out for you in the above paragraph. Now try and predict how you would react if you opened the next birthday card after your sweet Grandma’s and it read,
“Happy Birthday, You have cancer.”
On April 20, 2009 Shaun turned 29. He also was diagnosed with cancer.
Shaun was told by his Doctor that he had Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL).
This is how it works:
CLL causes a slow increase in white blood cells called B lymphocytes, or B cells. The cancerous cells spread from the blood marrow to the blood, and can also affect the lymph nodes or other organs such as the liver and spleen.
CLL eventually causes the bone marrow to fail.
The cause of CLL is unknown.
There is no link to radiation, cancer-causing chemicals, or viruses.
This cancer mostly affects adults, around age 70. It is rarely seen under age 40. The disease is more common in Jewish people of Russian or East European descent (U.S. National Library of Medicine).
YouTime: When you were officially told that you were diagnosed
with cancer, what went through your mind?
Shaun: I couldn’t stop thinking about chemotherapy, losing my
hair, and dying. It was hard, I didn’t know what to think. It
was scary.
Two months after being diagnosed with CLL Shaun received some news.
Drum roll please…
Shaun was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.
At the end of June 2009, Shaun got the big news that not only did he have cancer but he now has Type II Diabetes.
YouTime: This is some hard stuff to take in, how were
you feeling after hearing the news?
Shaun: This felt like two really big hits.
YouTime: It sounds unbelievably tough. What kind
of thoughts were you having about the quality
of life you may now have to live with?
Shaun: I honestly just kept thinking, “Shaun, you will be shooting insulin into your stomach for the rest of your life”.
STOP
Using the K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple Stupid) model from the previous blog (if you didn’t read it, DO IT!!)
I want to take a step backwards.
We do not need to discuss the complexities of what causes different types of cancers and type II diabetes. Although, if you wish to know the answer…I strongly encourage you to read “The China Study” or watch “Forks Over Knives“.
The problem is clear and the solution is clearer.
What we need to do now is ask a simple question…
Given the situation that Shaun is currently in,
HOW DOES HE MOVE ON FROM HERE?
Shaun decided to work with YouTime Coaching to take charge and control of the challenges he was presented with.
SHAUN’S REMARKABLE RESULTSBELOW:
If the results you see interest you and make you start wondering what you take control of in your life, contact me for a FREE Consultation! CLICK HERE TO CONTACT
Take a second to ask yourself a few questions. Have you ever said the following statements?
“nothing is going right for me”
“why does this always happen to me”
“I can never do anything right”
“I never seem to get things right”
“this is way too hard”
If you are guilty of saying one of the above statements or “sort of” guilty, not only are you part of the vast majority of the country, but this blog may even help you! So, KEEP READING!
At times, life chooses to mix you a fine cocktail containing,
1 ounce complication
2 ounces difficulty
1.5 ounces confusion
1 splash of chaos
Each individual’s cocktail differs slightly in ingredients but all tend to have a commonality in the solution. During these moments in life mentioned above, we as complicated, complex, and intricate human beings forget our ability to SIMPLIFY.
I am not asking you to rid yourself of all material possessions, make your house out of mud and sticks, or wear clothes made out of recycled newspaper. Though, If you wish to do any or all of these things more power to you and I would love to hear how that is working out for you!
What I am actually asking you to do are two very easy and useful things.
1. Make Lists
2. Use Acronyms
1.Making Lists: Keeping lists are extremely useful for giving ourselves the credit that we deserve for the progress that we make. Most of the time the steps we make in the right direction are never acknowledged and easily forgotten.
“Giving credit where credit is due is a very rewarding habit to form. It’s rewards are inestimable.”
– Loretta Young
Lists are our memory. If it is not necessary to use the free parking spots up at our memory bank, than don’t! Writing it down will free up some of the obligation and worry to remember tasks, events, and people for extended periods of time.
TRY IT Use your technology of choice, such as, an Ipad, Iphone, Droid, or if you are still living in the stone age, a pad of paper and set alarms to complete tasks or use the “to do list apps”.
*YouTime Coaching’s Recommended Pick*
For those of you who have the new Iphone or Ipad use the “Reminders” application that comes loaded on the device.
This application is perfect to use for 3 reasons.
1. Extremely easy and clear to navigate
2. Tracks how many tasks you have completed to date
3. Tracks what days you have completed the tasks
This lets you know what days you may be more productive!
Another exercise involving a list that can have a great impact on your daily life is call, “Eliminating Time Wasters“.
How this works:
Write down the things you have to do tomorrow in 3 columns.
This simple activity brings everything back to childhood, WHEN IT WAS SIMPLE. If you do your chores, then you can go out and play!
Try both these “List” activities in the next coming week and share with me on my Blog, Facebook, or Twitter how it worked out!
1. Acronyms: These are just another tiny tool that packs a powerful punch to help make things that are sometimes hard to understand or remember quite easy.
The first acronym I want you to put in your head is, K.I.S.S.
Answering questions such as, “Why do I keep going back to my old eating habits?”, “Why do I always end up alone?”, or “Why am I always tired?” can be managed far greater when you take the first step and remind yourself of, “K.I.S.S”.
If you take a step back from the situation, observe who the players are, and what the outcome of the situation actually means to you, you will have an easier and simpler way of understanding things.
Constantly repeat in your mind “K.I.S.S.” when you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Most likely you have not been obeying this rule if you are already stressed and anxious.
Acronyms and Setting Goals Almost 50% of people make New Year’s Resolutions, yet 90% fail to reach those goals!
An acronym that will make you one step closer to being a master goal setter and achieving success is, S.M.A.R.T.
I challenge you…
Create a goal, contact YouTime Coaching through email, Facebook, or Twitter and we will work through the S.M.A.R.T. method of goal setting to get your on the path to fulfilling your first goal of the New Year! Check out this link for useful information on the S.M.A.R.T. method:
Following an amazing weekend in Toronto being part of the “Psyching Team” at the 2011 Toronto Marathon, I witnessed something that bears more truth than we believe it to…
No performance goes unjudged.
Elite marathon runners and the most average Joe or Joanne actually have something in common, they are being judged and/or judging.
Raise your hand if you have been judged by another individual or judged yourself. Go on, don’t be shy, nobody is looking. If you didn’t raise your hand, your nose is probably growing and Pinocchio is somewhere laughing. Today social comparison and competition is almost as prominent as Justin Bieber on a teenager’s wall. You can go out and buy the most fashionable clothes and somebody is there to judge. You by accidentally trip and somebody is there, like magic, to judge you. You got lucky last night with the guy/girl of your dreams and thought there was chemistry, but she doesn’t call the next day, guess what, you begin judging yourself. Since these two societal factors are inevitably going to be part of our lives for quite sometime the real question is…
What can you do to help create your best performance in life?
The following are encounters, mental skills interventions, and stories that were witnessed first hand at the 2011 Toronto Marathon as being part of the official “Psyching Team”.
I. The All or Nothing Veteran Tracy, 58 years of age, has been a competitive runner most of her life. She has completed over 30 marathons, 10 triathlons, 3 Iron-man Competitions, and hundreds of road races, but still faces the fear and anxiety of failure before each race…
Tracy truly believed she would finish the Toronto marathon in under 3.5 hours (borderline unrealistic time) and will soon feel utterly defeated when she does not reach her goal.
My encounter with her…
Standing at the race finish, 26.2 miles from the starting point, I witnessed an individual look as if they were entering the beginning stages of rigamortis. I put a blanket around her and assisted in getting Tracy some water and a banana. I sat down next to Tracy and said, “How did the race go?”. She replied, “not so good, I finished 5 minutes slower than I should have.”
Five minutes!? A marathon takes hours, and this veteran runner is getting upset over five minutes! Now of coarse I did not say any of that to her, but I offered her something she could use for future races. I told Tracy that when she establishes her goal for a finish time she should create 3 tiers.
I. Finish times that are excellent II. Finish times that I consider good/strong III. Finished times I could live with
Tracy, although drained emotionally and physically, said she believes she needs to start using that mentality.
How can you apply this to your everyday life?
If you are searching for a job, create 3 tiers…
I. Jobs I really want and could make into a career II. Jobs that could be interesting/fun III. Jobs that could work for the time being
If you are having issues with spending too much money, create 3 tiers…
I. Things I really need right now II. Things I would like to have III. Things I want to buy if I have money left over
Doing the 3 tier system will help you to be more specific in what you are targeting to do or accomplish. It will also help you complete your goals without the feeling of “all or nothing thinking” while releasing all of the unnecessary pressure.
II. Mrs. One Kilometer
While standing at the one kilometer mark, with a mere 41.2 km to go, a middle aged seemingly experience runner staggers directly to me crying her eyes out. She goes on to explain that last year she tore a small part of her calf at the one kilometer mark in the Toronto Marathon and was unable to finish. She claimed to feel the same type of pain and said, “Why does this always happen to me”. Can you predict the ending?
After borrowing my phone to call her husband in tears, she quickly recouped and went on to finish the marathon.
How does this apply to you? Every decision we make in our lives is effected by the past events we have been through, both painful and pleasurable.
A situation occurs (you want a raise at work) | You begin to go through thoughts and beliefs of the situation, mostly influenced by past events (my boss has a short fuse and gets mad easy) | A particular behavior is exhibited (I guess I shouldn’t ask for a raise)
Your thoughts and beliefs directly effect how you may behave in any given situation based off of whether you have a pleasant or unpleasant regard for that event.
When confronted with a situation that you have trouble with follow these three steps.
1) Stop: Take a second to step back and increase awareness of your thoughts and any affiliated beliefs that may influence your decision/behavior.
2) Explore: Brainstorm how your decision/behavior may change if your thoughts and beliefs were different about the event. (my boss gets mad easy vs. my boss is a nice guy and will understand)
3) Take the hard path: This may not sound fun, but if you continue the patterns you have been living and not seeing the outcomes you expect, BREAK THE PATTERN!
In a sea of people you believe you will go unnoticed, but on the contrary, people see you. They see your strengths and weakness.
If you wish to find out the top 5 ways to live a healthy, positive, and confident lifestyle email me @ [email protected]
If you ever wish to run a marathon, start a new sport, begin exercising, or simply live a more active lifestyle contact YouTime Coaching to give you the positive mental edge you deserve.
I have hugged a chicken and it returned the gesture.
I love cows, but I ate them.
I love pigs, but I ate them.
I love chickens, but I ate them.
On another note,
How wonderful must it feel to know that whether you lost your job, girlfriend, or house in 2010, when the 1st of January approaches you have a chance to wipe the slate clean because, hey, it is a new year. Where the hell do you start? What aspect of your life needs improvement and why is this the only time we re-evaluate our current conditions?
Even in the New Year’s classic “Auld Lang Syne”, its lyrics pose a rhetorical question of whether or not old times should be forgotten. What many individuals perceive as a chance to redefine themselves as individuals is potentially setting themselves up for failure. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Redefining one “aspect” of yourself that will ultimately have the biggest residual impact on the rest of your life is what we are really looking to accomplish.
I am here as a guide to a better 2011 and LIFE.
I may not be able to promise you the happiness you regularly see in the Viagra or Celexa commercials, but I will sure as hell try.
(From an actual Celexa ad: Happy anti-depressant moment, YAY ridiculously fun teeth brushing)
148 days ago I started my New Year’s Resolution.
I have been vegetarian ever since.
I‘m not asking you to give up your Big Mac fetish, bacon egg & cheese on a croissant, meat eating ways… yet. What I AM asking you to do is read, take a look at, or even pick up what some say is the one of the most important and influential things this lifetime has seen. If you would like to know what this mysterious goldmine is all you need to do is pay 3 easy installments of $49.99 to the link below, and yes, I am completely kidding.
“Critical and life-saving”
“Ground-breaking”
“Monumental”
“This could save your life”
“Read this immediately”
If a Doctor ever used this type of language while in their office, would you listen to what they had to say? These Doctor’s are speaking of the most comprehensive, influential, life-saving research ever conducting in regards to our diet and nutrition.
AS YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTION….
Take a look at “THE CHINA STUDY”
“THE BIBLE OF DIETS”
This is not just a book. It is proof that even if you are unable to perform the most simple exercise, have a laundry list of potentially inherited chronic illnesses, or are simply a hypochondriac, a balanced plant-based diet can solve virtually all your problems.
If you are willing to try Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, The South Beach Diet, or Atkins Diet, take a real pledge that will finally work.
Pledge to be vegetarian for a week, a month, or however long you last and see your body and life completely change.
